Who the Fuck Are You, Really?

A Realm of Chaos Identity Check No One Asked For….

Let’s get this out of the way.

Most people don’t have an identity problem.

They have a straight up  honesty problem.

Because if I asked you, right now, no prep time, no journaling, no aesthetic Pinterest board, 

Who the fuck are you?

Most people freeze.

They give me:

• their job
• their trauma
• their responsibilities
• who they’re “trying” to be
• who they used to be before life got really heavy, or they became an actual adult. 

But that’s not an identity.

That’s a resume of surviving the fucked up world in which we live in.

Rebel (leaning on a bike, wiping grease off her hands):

“If you have to explain it that much, it probably isn’t you.”

Exactly.

The Lie We’re All Taught

Somewhere along the way, we learned to confuse:

• who we are with
• who life needed us to be

You became:

• dependable
• responsible
• quieter
• more agreeable
• easier to manage
• less… you

Not because you wanted to.

But because chaos doesn’t ask permission.

And slowly, your identity turned into:

“Whatever keeps things from falling apart.”

Which is useful.

But it’s not you, or, is it?

If it is, your life is complete trash, and it’s time for a re-wire.

You’re boring.. 

And, I’m guessing that isn’t exactly who or what you wanted to be. 

Let’s Make This Uncomfortable (In a Fun Way)

Answer these without softening them (Yes Homework): 

• Who are you when no one needs anything from you?
• Who are you when you’re not being watched?
• Who are you when you’re not performing “growth”?
• Who are you when you stop explaining yourself?

If your answer is:

“I don’t know anymore”

Congratulations.

That’s not failure. That’s the doorway, to really understanding the difference here. 

Also, hopefully a little fucking motivation to get you up and moving. 

Moving in the direction of “YOU”!

Lawless (already bored, drink in hand):

“If you don’t choose who you are, someone else will. And they’re usually lazy about it.”

She’s not wrong.

Can you simply imagine Lawless being what someone else has chosen?

Simply disastrous, and life would not be as fun. 

The You in Your Head vs. The You You’re Living

There’s a version of you that lives rent-free in your mind.

You know the one.

• More confident
• More expressive
• More feral
• Less apologetic
• Less tired of pretending
• Getting everything she wants

That version isn’t just imaginary.

She’s delayed, or, locked away in your little societal prison that lives in your head, soul, and whole being. 

And the gap between who you are and who you imagine yourself being?

That gap is where resentment, burnout, and quiet rage live.

If your lucky, she might choose to come out on her own.

Rage (kicking a can across the room):

“That tension you feel? That’s you ignoring yourself.”

Yep. That’s the one.

I mean, I couldn’t imagine not living outside for the world to see. 

I would spontaneously combust., if I could not be myself. 

Identity Isn’t Found. It’s Chosen.

Here’s the part people hate:

You don’t “discover” who you are.

You decide.

Over and over, it’s your decision who you want to show up as, day in and out. 

In small, unglamorous ways.

On days no one is cheering.

Identity is built by asking:

• What do I tolerate that I shouldn’t?
• What do I keep abandoning about myself?
• Where am I shrinking to keep things calm?

Every time you choose comfort over truth, you reinforce the wrong identity.

Every time you choose truth, even awkwardly, you strengthen the right one.

By not ignoring your decisions, on what is what, and who is who,, your choosing your identity, 

The decision really is in you. 

Vex (smirking, flipping a coin that definitely isn’t a coin):

“Identity is just a spell you keep casting until it sticks.”

Magic doesn’t need permission.

It needs repetition.

I wouldn’t be me, if I didn’t stand my ground on a daily, and wave that wand. 

The Realm Doesn’t Care Who You Used to Be

Here’s the good news.

The Realm of Chaos doesn’t ask for:

• consistency
• purity
• a five-year plan

It asks one thing:

Are you willing to become someone new without asking for approval first?

You’re allowed to:

• outgrow old versions
• disappoint people who liked you smaller
• change your mind
• become sharper, louder, stranger, freer

That’s not instability.

That’s evolution.

Meany (chewing on something that might be paperwork):

“Old rules taste bad anyway.”

Wise.

Final Question (Sit With This One)

If no one was watching…

If no one needed you…

If no one had an opinion…

Who would you let yourself be?

Not someday.

Not “after things calm down.”

Not when you’re finally ready.

Now.

That answer?

That’s the identity you’ve been avoiding.

And the Realm has been waiting for her.

>> I’m Not Too Much – You’re Under-Built<<<

>>My Discipline is Chaotic – Not Cute<<<

>>>Just Go Ahead And Drop That Identities Favorite Drink In To HellWater<<<