A Brutal Bad Breed Maa Christmas STORY
An Incident Report No One Asked For
The Realm does not do peaceful holidays.
Anyone who thought Christmas would be quiet clearly forgot who lives here.
It started with Rebel trying to “keep things under control.”
That was the first mistake.
She made a list.
She had a plan.
She said the words, “Let’s just get through today.”
The Realm heard that and immediately chose violence.
Rebel
Rebel took charge like she always does.
She assigned tasks.
She gave instructions.
She told everyone exactly how this was going to go.
The decorations were crooked within five minutes.
Someone moved something she specifically said not to touch.
Rebel clenched her jaw so hard the ornaments trembled.
Christmas spirit: already on thin ice.
Lawless
Lawless did not help.
Lawless observed.
She leaned against the wall, sipping something questionable, watching the chaos unfold like it was premium entertainment.
When asked to participate, she replied:
“I am participating. I’m witnessing.”
Lawless contributed exactly one thing:
- A string of lights plugged into the wrong outlet.
They sparked.
She shrugged.
Festive.
Rage
Rage was tasked with fire.
This was optimistic.
She tried to light candles for “ambiance.”
The candles caught immediately.
Everything else almost did too.
Rage insisted she had it under control while actively holding something that should not have been on fire.
The fire went out.
She got mad.
She relit it.
Rebel screamed.
Classic Christmas.
Vex
Vex said she would not be doing magic.
This was a lie.
By the time anyone noticed:
- The tree was humming
- The presents were rearranging themselves
- The ornaments were whispering insults
Vex claimed this was “ambient holiday enchantment.”
Rebel called it sabotage.
Vex called it art.
Meany
Meany was running.
No one knows why.
She came flying through the room yelling something about goblins, dropped a tray of food, and disappeared again.
Five seconds later she came back, pointed dramatically, and said:
“DO NOT OPEN THAT DOOR.”
Someone opened the door.
The Goblins
The goblins smelled Christmas.
This was a problem.
They came in loud, sticky, and feral, immediately claiming:
- The snacks
- The shiny things
- Several presents that were not theirs
One goblin put a bow on its head and declared itself “the gift.”
Another tried to eat the tree.
A third bit Rebel.
Rebel bit back.
No one questioned this.
At this point:
- The lights were flickering
- The fire was technically contained
- The food situation was unsalvageable
- The goblins were singing something that was not a Christmas song
Lawless laughed so hard she had to sit down.
Rage threatened arson.
Vex took notes.
Somewhere in the chaos, gifts were opened.
Not correctly.
Not in order.
Not politely.
One present exploded confetti.
Another screamed when opened.
One goblin got stuck inside a box and refused to leave.
Meany declared it “the best Christmas yet” and immediately tripped over something, and caught something on fire.
Rebel finally snapped.
She didn’t yell.
She didn’t rage.
She just stood there, hands on her hips, surrounded by destruction, goblins, magic residue, and smoke, and said:
“Next year we’re doing nothing.”
Everyone agreed.
No one believed it.
As the night wound down:
- The tree leaned but survived
- The Realm still stood
- No one died (barely)
- The goblins passed out in a pile of wrapping paper
The Bad Breed Maa’s sat among the wreckage, tired, full, and laughing in that way you only do when everything went wrong but you’re still standing.
It wasn’t peaceful.
It wasn’t tasteful.
It definitely wasn’t appropriate.
But it was theirs.
Realm Holiday Rule
If it didn’t almost burn down,
it wasn’t a Bad Breed Maa Christmas.
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>>>>Feeling Festive? More Bad Breed Holidays To Read, Check Out Thanksgiving<<<<