THE PERKS OF PMS — A FERAL USER manual

INTRODUCTION: WELCOME TO THE TEMPORARY MONSTER UPGRADE

PMS is not a weakness.

It’s not a curse.

It’s not “that time of the month.”

PMS is a limited-edition feral buff where your body activates a version of you that could:

• lift a car,
• destroy a kingdom,
• burn a timeline,
• cry while doing taxes,
• sense a lie through three walls,
• and rebuild your entire identity in 48 hours.

Your hormones basically say:

“We’re rebooting the system. Hold still while we burn everything unnecessary.”

Which is funny, because men call this an overreaction,

but the Realm calls it Tuesday.

 

PERK #1: SUPERNATURAL STRENGTH (BOTH KINDS)

You know that moment when you pick up something heavy and think:

“I don’t remember being this strong”?

That’s PMS.

Your body is like:

“We’re retaining water AND lifting spirits AND carrying the emotional weight of mankind, get on my level.”

You can deadlift emotions, furniture, trauma, groceries, and hopes simultaneously.

LAWLESS DROP-IN:

“Once PMS hit me so hard I carried a whole motorcycle across the yard because Rage said I couldn’t.”

RAGE RESPONSE:

“I said she SHOULDN’T. Difference.”

VEX SIDE NOTE:

“Technically… the moon is involved, which means it is magic. Very unstable, deliciously chaotic magic.”

GOBLIN CHILDREN:

“Mom, can you open this jar, OH GOD SHE OPENED IT SO HARD THE LID FLEW INTO THE WALL.”

 

PERK #2: ZERO-TOLERANCE MODE — ACTIVATED

This is my favorite one.

Suddenly:

• every red flag is neon,
• every tone shift is suspicious,
• every inconvenience is a declaration of war,
• and everything you tolerated last week? Dead. Gone. Buried.

You’re not “sensitive.”

You’re accurate.

PMS turns your intuition into a Homeland Security system:

“Threat detected: this situation is bullshit.”

You stop caring about offending people.

You start caring about self-respect, boundaries, and snacks.

RAGE DROP-IN:

“I’m like this all month, so PMS feels like home.”

LAWLESS:

“Yeah, Rage doesn’t get more emotional , she gets more… flammable.”

PERK #3: PMS RAGE = PURE, UNFILTERED CLARITY

PMS rage is NOT irrational.

It’s truth without cushioning.

Every thought is accurate.

Every instinct is sharp.

Every boundary is FINAL.

Your rage says things your polite self didn’t have the nerve to say out loud.

Like:

• “I don’t like this.”
• “I deserve better.”
• “This situation is draining me.”
• “Why am I putting effort into this?”
• “This person needs to get away from me before we BOTH regret it.”

THE REALM ITSELF WHISPERS:

“You’re not angry… you’re awake.”

VEX ADDING NOTHING OF VALUE:

“Also, rage magic is the BEST magic. Explosive! Unpredictable! Easy to harness for spells!”

ONE BAD MAA:

“Vex, stop enchanting my PMS.”

VEX:

“…Fine.” (She is lying.)

 

PERK #4: SENSORY UPGRADE — EVERYTHING IS TOO LOUD AND TOO WRONG

PMS turns you into a feral sentinel.

You hear EVERYTHING:

• chewing
• breathing
• someone existing too close
• lights humming
• the universe mocking you

You smell EVERYTHING:

• betrayal
• disrespect
• lies
• snacks you hid behind cereal at 3am

You sense EVERYTHING:

• tension
• fake energy
• someone thinking about annoying you
• a goblin child plotting something

Your awareness becomes predatory.

GOBLIN CHILD REPORT:

“During PMS, Maa can tell which one of us stole the cookies just by sniffing.”

ONE BAD MAA:

“Because you idiots leave crumbs everywhere.”

 

PERK #5: THE EMOTIONAL EXORCISM

Let’s talk crying.

Not weak crying.

Not fragile crying.

Not “oh no I’m sad” crying.

This crying is:

• volcanic
• cleansing
• cathartic
• soul-scraping
• life-resetting

You shed tears like your body is evacuating ghosts.

You come out:

• clearer
• lighter
• angrier (but in a GOOD way)
• more focused
• more YOU

This crying isn’t emotional breakdown.

This crying is EXORCISM.

LAWLESS OBSERVATION:

“I’ve cried during PMS and then immediately felt powerful enough to rearrange my entire life.”

RAGE:

“Yeah, she reorganized the garage for three hours and told the broom to fight her.”

 

PERK #6: LIFE DOESN’T STOP — AND THAT’S THE FLEX

Here’s what gets forgotten:

During PMS, you STILL:

• go to work,
• feed creatures,
• manage chaos,
• do chores,
• survive capitalism,
• handle emotions,
• run a household,
• train,
• fight inner demons,
• and still show up in life.

All while:

• bleeding,
• bloated,
• exhausted,
• anxious,
• overstimulated,
• hungry,
• psychic,
• feral,
• and moderately homicidal.

REALITY CHECK:

The world calls PMS “moodiness.”

But PMS is proof you are built different.

PMS is you fighting a war on two fronts:

• external life
• internal biology

And still not dying.

THE REALM ITSELF GROWLS:

“Women don’t get enough credit. They perform at full power while their bodies run monthly software updates.”

 

PERK #7: PMS CONFIDENCE — THE CHAOTIC GOD MODE

Nobody talks about THIS side of PMS:

That moment where rage + exhaustion + awareness combine to form:

IDGAF CONFIDENCE.

You start saying things like:

• “That’s not happening.”
• “I deserve better.”
• “No.”
• “Absolutely not.”
• “I’m busy.”
• “Try someone else.”
• “Fix it or move.”
• “I don’t care.”

And you MEAN IT.

LAWLESS:

“During PMS? Maa’s boundaries are iron. Titanium. Reinforced steel with spikes.”

RAGE:

“Sexy.”

ONE BAD MAA:

“…Stop.”

 

PERK #8: PMS REALIGNS YOUR WHOLE LIFE

After the storm settles, you walk out of PMS like:

• a phoenix with emotional whiplash
• a dragon with receipts
• a wolf with clarity
• a rat-girl with unresolved issues and snacks

You suddenly know EXACTLY what needs to change.

PMS is not random.

It’s not chaos.

It’s a system purge.

A factory reset of your identity.

A forced update.

Your body says:

“We’ve evaluated your life choices. Some of them are trash. Fix it.”

So you do.

VEX ADDS:

“Honestly? PMS is the most efficient transformation magic I’ve ever seen. You literally become a different creature every cycle.”

GOBLIN CHILDREN:

“We love PMS Maa! She becomes productive and cleans everything!”

ONE BAD MAA:

“I do that so I don’t commit crimes.”

 

CONCLUSION: PMS IS NOT A CURSE — IT IS PROOF YOU ARE A BIOLOGICAL GOD

PMS turns you into:

• a monster
• a warrior
• a psychic
• a storm
• a truth detector
• an emotional demolition crew
• and a divine engine of accuracy and boundaries

You don’t crumble during PMS.

You EVOLVE.

You rise sharper, louder, clearer, and more powerful than before.

Because anyone can function on a good day…

But functioning through PMS?

Running your life while your insides run a rebellion?

That’s not fragility.

That’s feral resilience.

That’s Bad Breed cataclysm-level strength.

That’s womanhood in the Realm.

 

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