The Art of Giving The Bird
Field Notes from Vex, Resident Chaos Creative
There are a lot of things they don’t teach you in school.
How to protect your peace.
How to say no without apologizing six times.
How to walk away from people who drain the life out of you.
And, of course, how to properly flip someone off.
Hi. I’m Vex.
Part-time spell-slinger, full-time creative menace of the Realm.
Rebel smashes things, Lawless steals things, Rage burns things down…
I? I stylize the disrespect, and protect what’s mine magically.
Because anyone can stick up a middle finger.
But the bird, done properly, is an art form.
It’s punctuation.
It’s boundary.
It’s spellwork.
It’s a tiny hand-shaped portal that says:
“I decline your nonsense. Return to sender.”
So pull up a cracked chair, grab your favorite petty beverage,
and let me walk you through:
1. The Origin of the Bird (Realm Version)🖕
In the Realm of Chaos, we don’t have “microaggressions.”
We have macro responses.
Legend says the first bird was thrown by a tired witch who’d been interrupted one too many times while drawing protection sigils. A man leaned over her shoulder and said, “You should smile more.”
She smiled.
She lifted one finger.
Every candle in the room went out except hers.
That gesture traveled.
Through alleys, through bone yards, through bar fights and back rooms.
It evolved from simple rudeness into something else:
A tiny, portable spell that says,
“My energy is mine. You don’t get access.”
Humans call it rude.
In the Realm, we call it clarity.
2. Why the Bird is Spiritual Hygiene🖕
Let’s be clear:
This isn’t about rage spirals or reckless chaos.
This is about energetic boundaries with flair.
There are days when you don’t have the time, bandwidth, or emotional budget to explain:
- why that joke wasn’t funny
- why that comment was disrespectful
- why that request was entitled
- why someone is not, in fact, welcome in your atmosphere
You could open your throat chakra and deliver a TED Talk.
Or… you could let the hands do the talking.
Because the bird, when used with intention, says:
“I see your attempt to drag me into your storm.
It’s a cut spell.
A quick severing of the cord between you and the chaos someone else is trying to hand you.
As I like to say:
“Not every interaction deserves a paragraph.Some only deserve a gesture.”
3. The Anatomy of a Proper Bird🖕
If you’re going to do it, do it right.
3.1. The Wrist
The wrist is your wand.
A lazy flop says, “I’m kind of annoyed.”
A sharp flick says, “I hope your Wi-Fi dies during your favorite show.”
You want that clean, decisive, wrist snap,
not frantic, but intentional.
Think “spell release,” not “mosquito swat.”
3.2. The Face
Your expression is half the spell.
You have options:
- The Deadpan: No emotion, just blank stare + finger. Terrifying.
- The Smirk: “You’re not a threat; you’re entertainment.”
- The Raised Brow: “You sure you want to play with me?”
- The Slow Smile: Advanced magic. Be careful with this one.
I personally specialize in the Creative Director Disappointed look,
like I’m mentally redesigning your entire existence and still choosing not to fix you.
3.3. The Timing
Giving the bird in the middle of chaos?
Fun.
Giving the bird calmly after someone thinks they got the last word?
Art.
Let there be a beat.
Let their words hang in the air.
Let them feel proud of their audacity.
Then:
Slow turn.
Eye contact.
Bird.
Spell cast. Scene ended.
4. Situations Where the Bird is Sacred 🖕
There are moments where the bird transcends pettiness and becomes a form of prayer.
4.1. When Someone Calls You “Too Much”
Ah yes, the classic.
They wrinkle their face and say it like a diagnosis:
“You’re a lot.”
Lawless throws a bottle.
Rage starts a small fire.
Me?
I smile, tilt my head, and lift a gentle bird.
Translation:
“I’m not too much. You’re under-built.”
A simple gesture that says:
“I will not downsize my soul so you can stay comfortable.”
>>> Read I’m Not To Much You’re Under-built<<<
4.2. When Someone “Jokes” About Your Dreams
“You’re gonna do what? Start a brand? Build a world?
That’s… ambitious.”
They laugh like you told a joke.
Laugh with them.
Then casually raise the bird as you walk away to go make it happen.
That’s the thing about the bird, it doesn’t stop you from doing anything.
It just closes the door behind you a little harder.
4.3. When They Try to Guilt You Back Into Your Old Self
“You’ve changed.”
“You’re different now.”
“You’re not like you used to be.”
Good.
Middle finger as benediction.
May they be released from the version of you they preferred,
and may you be released from the obligation to stay small.
5. Advanced Technique: The Invisible Bird
Sometimes you can’t just throw it physically.
Jobs, meetings, formal environments, family dinners,
places where the bird might cause a full-scale war.
This is when you use the Invisible Bird.
You don’t move a muscle.
You don’t change your face.
But inside your spirit, the finger rises like a blessed, glowing sigil.
You nod politely.
You say, “I hear you.”
What you mean is, “I spiritually flipped you off in three dimensions.”
No one can prove it.
You feel better.
The energy cuts clean.
Magic.
6. The Art of Not Wasting the Bird🖕
Important rule:
Do not cheapen the spell.
Not every inconvenience deserves it.
- The barista who messed up your drink? No bird.
(You’re not cursed; you’re caffeinated.)
- The person who cut you off in traffic? Maybe half a bird. Internal.
- The person who disrespects you repeatedly, ignores your boundaries, undermines your work, or treats your heart like a suggestion?
They get the full ceremonial version.
Remember:
The bird isn’t about anger management.
It’s about self-respect management.
7. When the Bird is For You🖕
Here’s the twist no one expects:
Sometimes, the bird isn’t for them.
Sometimes, it’s for you.
I have flipped off:
- my fear
- my self-doubt
- my old habits
- my procrastination
- my “maybe I should just stay small” impulses
I’ve stood in front of my sketchbook, my screen, my mirror,
and given the bird to every story that said I wasn’t enough,
or too much,
or too late.
Middle finger up, whispering:
“Respectfully… no.”
No to the scripts that were handed to me.
No to the boxes I was supposed to fit into.
No to the versions of me that survived but were never meant to be permanent.
Sometimes the most magical thing you can do is
flip off the limitations that were never yours in the first place.
8. Closing Spell: The Vex Method🖕
If you want to practice the Vex version of the bird, here’s the ritual:
- Check your intent.
Is this pettiness or protection? Aim for protection.
- Anchor in your body.
Feel your feet, your spine, your chest. You are here, you are whole.
- Pick your face.
Deadpan. Smirk. Raised brow. Choose your weapon.
- Lift with purpose.
Wrist steady, finger up, shoulders relaxed. No flinch.
- Think the spell:
“I release myself from this energy. May it return where it belongs.”
- Walk away.
Do not linger. Do not over-explain. Let the spell seal in silence.
Congratulations.
You have just practiced a tiny act of sacred disrespect.
Not because you’re cruel.
Because you’re done letting the world take more from you than it deserves.
You’re not reckless.
You’re not evil.
You’re not bitter.
You’re just… done.
And sometimes, the most magical way to say “I’m done”
is with one small, enchanted finger.
With love (and just a little bit of attitude),
– Vex